Communications
by nhsweetcherry
Summary: Random, short snippets of conversations between the guys. Some funny, some more serious.
1. Chapter 1

_This is meant to be a very random collection of bits of communication between the guys. Most are funny; some are serious. I hope to add to it over time. Enjoy!_

 _I don't own the Thunderbirds, and I am making no profit from this story._

Scott raised his watch to his mouth. "Gordon, report. What's your status?"

Gordon's cheerful voice crackled over the tiny radio. "Hiya, Scotty! I'm just ducky! You?"

Scott, out of the corner of his eye, saw a nearby police officer smirk, and heard him mutter to his partner, "Guess there's one on every team."

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"Beam me up, Scotty!"

"Say that _one more time_ , Alan," Scott growled, "and I'm going to do _something_ to you with a beam – a _wooden_ beam, that is!"

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"John?"

"Yeah, Virg?"

"Have I ever told you that I love you?"

"Uh, probably. Why?"

"I just thought I ought to say it before it's too late."

"Too late? Virgil? What's going on? Virgil? Virgil!"

"Calm down, Johnny. I'm still here…but I should probably call the others now...before it's too late…"

"Stop saying that! Virgil, your blood pressure's dropping like crazy. What happened? Virgil? Don't do this to me! Virgil, come in! All right, that's it…Scott, come in!"

"What's up, John?"

"Scott, grab a med kit and get moving – Virgil's in trouble! Sending you coordinates now…"

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Gordon pointed Thunderbird Four toward the ocean floor and accelerated to full speed. "Hmm," he murmured, carefully hiding a smirk. "I suddenly have this sinking feeling…"

"What? Why?" Virgil snapped. Then he groaned. "Oh. I get it. Ha, ha, very funny."

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"Hey, Gordon, you got any cash on you?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I found a store that's still open. Want to get some candy and soda for the ride home?"

" _Yeah_!"

"Hey, you two, I heard that!"

"Don't worry, Scott – we'll ride with Virg. Just don't say anything to him, okay?"

"Well…okay. But you know my silence comes at a price."

"Fine, we'll get you a bag of mint M&Ms."

"A full-size bag, right? Not one of those dinky little single-serving sizes."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know. Okay, Al, you do the shopping, and I'll be there with the money in just a minute!"

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"Hey, Scott?"

"Yeah, Virg?"

"How fast do you think you can make it to the cliff on the northwest corner of the island?"

"Depends on the reason."

"Okay, how's this for a reason: I hit a bit of a rockslide while I was climbing. I'm okay, but I somehow ended up all tangled up in my rope, and I think my anchor may be failing."

"Hey, you know, that's a pretty good reason. I'll be there in five minutes!"

"Okay, thanks!"

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"Hey, Virgil?"

"Yeah, John?"

"Can you play me something on the piano?"

Something in John's tone had Virgil immediately setting down the book he was reading. He was at the piano in three steps. "Sure. What do you want to hear?"

"Anything," John sighed.

Virgil's hands hovered over the keys. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, clearing his mind, trying to think of a tune John would enjoy. Suddenly he grinned – he had the perfect thing.

Without further ado, he launched into Gustav Holst's "The Planets." It was an orchestral suite, but a few months earlier, he'd been delighted to come across a transcription for piano, and had worked hard to learn all seven parts.

John let out a short bark of incredulous laughter as he recognized the intense first notes of "Mars, the Bringer of War."

It was nearly an hour of music, ranging from dark to quirky to serene, as Virgil played through the varied tunes meant to represent Venus, Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and finally, Neptune.

As the final notes died away, John let out a long sigh.

"Thanks, Virgil," he said quietly.

"Any time."

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"Knock, knock!"

Angry growl. "Knock, knock yourself!"

"Uh, who's there?"

"Your worst nightmare."

"Your worst nightmare who?"

"Your worst nightmare who is going to drain your pool, kill your bathtub and fence off the ocean if you don't stop telling knock-knock jokes."

"Huh. Well, then. How about a game of 'I Spy?'"

"Hey, I have an idea – how about you swim home! It's only about three hundred miles from here."

Sigh. "Fine, I'll be quiet now." Ten seconds of silence. "Hey, _look_ – is that an eagle? Ha! Got you to look!"

"Okay, that is _it_ – next time, you're riding home with Scott!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Virg?"

"Hmm?"

Sigh. "You're painting, aren't you?"

Long pause. "Huh? Did you say something, Scott?"

Another sigh. "Never mind."

"Okay…wait, what? Hello? Did someone try calling me?"

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"Thunderbird Five to Thunderbird Four."

"Thunderbird Four here. What's up, Johnny?"

"Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm going to say, kiddo."

"Me? Pretend?"

"Yeah, you. I want an explanation, and I want it _now_."

"What, about my course deviation? Aren't I allowed to take the scenic route every once in a while? And besides, I've got some time to kill before Virg can pick me up."

"Well, I suppose that's true. But what are you doing back at the danger zone?"

"John, that cruise ship was damaged because the sea bed in here doesn't match what the charts say. In water this shallow, that's a real problem. I'm trying to figure out what happened."

"Hmm…seismic activity, maybe?"

"Unlikely around here…hey, wait a minute, what's that?"

"What's what? I don't see anything on my scanners. Gordon?"

"Uh, okay, so I've figured it out – there's a sub down here, tampering with the sea bed, probably so that they can run ships aground and then loot them. Yikes! That was close!"

"Gordon? What's going on?"

"These guys have torpedoes!"

"Well, get out of there!"

"I'm working on it…oof!"

"Gordon? Gordon! Are you okay? Gordon, come in!"

"Relax, Johnny, I'm fine – I just got caught in the shock wave from an exploding torpedo. I should be out of range now. I'm heading back to the pod…can you call the authorities and give them a heads up on this sub?"

"Will do. And Gordon?"

"Yeah?"

"No more course deviations today, okay?"

"Spoilsport."

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"Hey, Gordon?"

"Yeah, Alan?"

"What does it mean if the speedboat's motor sounds like this?"

Gordon listened to the loud knocking sound. "It means you should use a different boat."

"Um, okay…that won't work."

"Why?"

"I'm about fifty miles east of the island."

Gordon sighed. "Well, in that case, that sound means, 'There go Gordon's plans for the rest of the afternoon.'"

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"Alan, is there anyone in that building?"

"I'm in here. Do I count?"

"No."

"Then no, there is no one in this building, which I have to say puts me into a bit of an existential crisis."

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Scott woke up slowly; something was different enough in the rhythm of the island's nighttime sounds to pull him out of a deep sleep. There were plenty of noisy things in the jungle, but since when had they had…howler monkeys?

He rolled out of bed and padded across the carpet, but the sounds got softer the closer he got to his window. Confused, he followed the noise to his bedside table. Disbelievingly, he reached for his watch and held it up to his ear. Sure enough, the foreign sounds were being piped through the tiny radio.

He almost spoke into the watch, but stopped himself just in time as an idea occurred to him – this prank could work both ways. Smirking, he stepped over to his music player. Picking the loudest song he could think of, he cranked the volume all the way up, held the watch close to the speaker, and hit "Play."

It was a little hard to tell over the volume of the music, but he was pretty sure he heard a startled yelp and a crash at the other end of the line. He let the music play for a few seconds, then shut it off.

"Just a little lullaby to help you sleep, Gords," he said cheerfully into the watch.

"Yeah, thanks," was the muttered response. "I feel much sleepier already."

"Good night!"

"Hmph!"

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"Hey, Virg?"

"Hmm?"

"Still painting, huh?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Then I guess you won't mind if I eat that piece of chocolate cake you were saving, huh?"

"Uh…yeah, sure…"

"Great! Thanks, Virg! Talk to you later!"

"Okay, Scott…hey, wait! Chocolate cake? _Scott_!"


	3. Chapter 3

_This one seems to be a mix of TOS and TAG…_

"Hey, Alan, do you still have that guitar?"

"Yeah, I think so, but it's gotta be way out of tune by now."

"Perfect. Can I borrow it?"

"Why?"

"I'm gonna sit outside Virgil's room tonight and see if I can give him musical nightmares."

"Sweet! Hey, count me in – I've got a harmonica too!"

"Awesome! Okay, see you at midnight!"

"I'll be there!"

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"Scott?"

"Alan? What time is it?"

"It's two in the morning. Scott, I think I have a stomach bug – I've just been puking for the past couple hours. I hate to ask, but could you come help me get back to my bed?"

"I'll be right there!"

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"This is the song that never ends…it just goes on and on and on…"

"All right, that's _it_! You'd better find a parachute fast, Gordon, because in ten seconds, I am hitting this eject button!"

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"Hey, Alan?"

"Yeah, John?"

"When you come up with those parts, can you see if Grandma will send an apple pie?"

"Sure, no problem. Actually, she's cooking up a storm, so I think you might get a few other goodies too. How's your chocolate stash?"

"Eh, it'll hold out until the shift rotation. I could use a little more hot cocoa, though."

"Okay, pie and cocoa. Got it!"

"Thanks, Al!"

"You're welcome! See you in a few hours!"

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"Scott! Scott, where are you? Come in, Scott!"

"I'm on the roof. Can you send up a hover platform? I've got a kid with me, and there's no way we're getting back down through the fire."

"Okay, sending up a hover platform now. Can you see it?"

"No, it's not a UFO…it's our ride out of here."

"Scott?"

"Oh, sorry, talking to the kid. Yeah, I see it. All right, we're aboard. I'll take the controls from here. Thanks, Virg!"

"Any time!"

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"Gordon!"

"Yeah?"

"How many times do I have to tell you not to mess with those speed controls?"

"Hey, it's just that you've got the slow-mo ride. I thought you'd appreciate getting to your Bird a little faster!"

"Gordon, the couch is not built for speed!"

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"Gordon, do you have any idea who could have changed the settings on my elevator so that it dropped so fast that I was left hanging in midair for a second?"

"Uh, no, Scott, no idea at all…"

"Well, in case you find out who was responsible, you can pass along this message – the next time a prank like that gets pulled, I will force the culprit to ride up and down the elevator at that speed until he pukes, and then I will make him clean it up, and then make him ride the elevator another ten times. Got it?"

"Uh, yeah, I'll be sure to pass that along, if I ever figure out who could have done that terrible thing…"

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"Gordon! Where are you?"

"Well, that depends. Why are you asking?"

"Because I'm going to kill you!"

"May I ask what has brought about this murderous spirit within you?"

"You've been playing with the speed settings on my chute again! It went so fast that the robot couldn't dress me properly – I ended up with my boots on my hands, my shin guards on my shoulders, and my belt wrapped around my ankles!"

"Ha! Uh, I mean, that's terrible, Virgil. I feel so awful. I promise I'll never, ever do it again."

"Yeah, that's what you said the last time, too. So where are you?"

"I don't think I'm going to tell you – I'd rather you experienced the thrill of the hunt. Ta-ta for now!"

" _Gordon_! Don't you hang up on me! Grr…Hey, John? Can you give me Gordon's location?"

"Sure…uh, he seems to be rapidly moving through the jungle toward the southern corner of the island."

"Thanks."

"No problem. And Virg? That video is _awesome._ "

"Video? _What video?_ "

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"Gordon, come in! Scott, I'm still not getting a response."

"John, any sign of his tracker signal yet?"

"No, there's too much interference from whatever they're digging up in this mine. Even the Mole doesn't register on my scanners. Can you see anything from your position, Virg?"

"No – the opening is collapsed, and there's no sign of movement. Guys, it's been an hour…should I go back to the island and pick up the components to build another Mole?"

"I hate to take the time to do that, but I guess it's the only option…hey, wait! Is that…?"

"Yes! He's coming out! Gordon, do you read me?"

"Loud and clear, Virg! Sorry for the lack of communication – there's a lot of ore or something down there. I got the miners out before the mine collapsed, though!"

"Good work, Gordon. And good to hear from you!"

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"Well, that was…unexpected."

"Yeah, I really thought he was going to smash it when he grabbed it like that."

"So what do we do now?"

"I guess you could actually play a real song now that your guitar is perfectly in tune."

"Okay. How about 'Mary Had a Little Lamb?' Dude, don't look at me like that – this thing's been in a closet since I was, like, six!"


	4. Chapter 4

"Scott to John. Come in, John."

"Uh, you do remember that I'm home, right? In fact, if you look to your left, you'll see me waving to you."

"Oh, right…"

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"Hey, Virg?"

"What's up, Gords?"

"Um, well, if you don't mind, I could kinda use a hand here. My back just totally gave out."

"Yeah, sure. Where are you?"

"Well…you're not going to like this part…I'm on the beach way on the far side of the island. You'll either have to somehow get a hover sled through the jungle or take a boat."

"Hey, that's perfect, actually! John was just saying that he wants to brush up on some of his EMT techniques. We can turn this into a hands-on training session – I'll leave it up to him to figure out how to get to you, treat you and extract you from the danger zone. Thanks, Gords!"

"Uh, no problem. Just glad to help out..."

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"Hey, Alan?"

"Yeah, Gordon?"

"Your turn."

"Huh?"  
"You remember how I came and towed you back to shore last week because you did something to the engine of the speedboat?"

"Hey, I didn't _touch_ that engine-"

"You remember how I sacrificed my whole afternoon for you, Alan? How you called, and I came to the rescue, no questions asked? Without me, you would have been stranded. You would have just drifted away and been lost forever to the Pacific."

"Unless I had called Scott…"

"You _owe_ me, Alan…and it's time for you to repay that debt."

"What exactly are you asking me to do?"

"Come and get me. I ran out of gas."

"Fine, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

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Alan stared at his watch, oddly fascinated by its cracked face. Communication normally flowed so rapidly and effortlessly between him and his brothers, all thanks to the tiny devices strapped to their wrists. They took their watches for granted, he knew – until that line of communication was lost.

With a sigh, he tried again. "I still don't know if you guys can hear me," he said softly into his broken watch, "but I'm trapped on sublevel B in the parking garage. I think the whole place could collapse at any time. I understand if you can't get to me, and I just want you to know that I-"

His words were cut off by a loud crash. He flinched, bracing himself, expecting to be buried by another tidal wave of debris, but instead, he heard voices.

"Alan! Where are you?"

"Over here!" he hollered, waving.

Scott, Virgil and Gordon charged over and began hastily digging him out.

"Could you guys hear me? I didn't know if my watch was even working," Alan said, wincing as they pulled him to his feet and began hustling him back toward the Mole.

Scott cast a wary glance at the cracked ceiling. "We heard everything, but we couldn't get through to you. Amazing how we take these watches for granted until they break, huh?"

Alan smiled as Scott said almost the same thing as he had been thinking earlier. "Well, I'm glad I didn't just spend twenty minutes talking into a dead radio."

They piled into the Mole and backed out just as the building collapsed.

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"Hey, Johnny, did you hear about the guy who stayed up all night wondering what happens to the sun when it goes down?"

"Uh, no…"

"It finally dawned on him!"

"Been reading your collection of corny joke books again, huh?"

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"Hey, Virg!"

"Gordon, this had better not be another dumb artist joke…"

"Oh, it isn't."

"Well, good."

"At least, _I_ don't think it's dumb!"

" _Gordon!_ "

"Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?"

"Because he was a crazed lunatic, just like every other person in every single 'joke' you've ever told me."

"No…because, from a distance, they look like hares! Get it – hares? Hairs?"

"Yes, Gordon, I get it. Hey, I think I'll start a bonfire later. Want to come? You can bring all your joke books."

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"Virgil, _move!_ "

"Oof!"

"Virg! You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Whew – that was close! Thanks, Scott!"

"Any time."

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"Hey, Johnny?"

"Still home, Scott. See me waving? From the other side of the pool?"

"Sorry – habit."


	5. Chapter 5

_I decided to do one more of these before marking this as "complete." Enjoy!_

"Hey, Johnny, can you translate for me? This guy absolutely refuses to follow me away from his house!"

"Sure."

John listened to the man speak, throwing in a few questions. At the end, he shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "Okay, Gords, here's the deal – he says that he won't leave without his pet potbellied pig. The pig was in the living room when the earthquake hit. Is the living room accessible, or should I tell him the pig's a goner?"

Gordon spluttered. "A _pig_? You have got to be kidding me! Why would anyone keep a pig in the _house_?"

"Just answer the question."

"Uh, yeah, actually, the house isn't too bad. I should be able to get in, no problem. But you know we're not supposed to take the time to save pets."

"And we actually follow that rule _how_ often? Think of it this way, Gordon – if that was a cute, fluffy, happy dog in there, would you be hesitating?"

Sigh. "No."

"Then go save that pig, Gordon!"

" _Fine…_ "

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hey, Virg?"

"Yeah, Alan?"

"Can you come to my workshop and give me a hand for a sec?"

"Sure. What are you working on? You sound all out of breath."

"Well, that's the thing…see, a pulley failed, and I currently have a car engine sitting on my chest."

"Um, _what?_ Scott, meet me in Alan's workshop _now_!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hey, John, you still up?"

"Yeah. What do you need, Virg?"

"I just feel like something is missing from this painting, but I can't figure it out."

"Maybe that's because your cognitive abilities are impaired because it's two in the morning and you should be sleeping."

"I could say something right now about pots and kettles…"

"Hmm…how about a little dab of yellow ochre right there…and a bit more shading behind that thing…yeah, that's it. Then a splash of vermillion to draw the eye…okay, now step back so you can see it properly."

"Ah, yes, much better. Thanks, John!"

"No problem. And very nice painting, by the way. Now go to bed!"

"Only if you do too."

"Fine. Night, Virg!"

"Night, Johnny!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Scott, take ten steps to the northwest _now_."

"Huh…thanks, Johnny. I didn't realize there was a sinkhole there."

"Hey, just protecting my role as second oldest. I do _not_ want a promotion."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hey, Gordon?"

"Hiya, Scott! What's up?"

"So I was doing my run on the beach like normal, and…well, you might want to come see this. Bring a camera and whatever else you use to record weird fish."

"You found me a weird fish? Scotty, I _love_ you! I'll be right there!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Alan, come in."

"Hey, Virg, what's up? How's New York?"

"Great! I spent all of yesterday at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and their new display is absolutely _amazing_ …but, wait, hang on – that's not why I called. I actually just had a quick question for you. Is this a good price for a 1969 Camaro ZL-1?" He read the price aloud and turned his watch so that Alan could get a quick glimpse of the condition of the car.

There was a long silence on the other end of the line.

"Alan?"

Alan sucked in a shaky breath and then spoke quickly, his tone low and intense. "Buy it _now_ , Virgil," he said. "Do you have enough cash? If not, just put a deposit on it, and then do not _move_ from that spot until I get there!"

"But, Alan, it'll take you hours to fly over here! I'll get a trailer or something and leave the car in our hangar."

"Okay, fine, but hire an armed guard to watch over it until I can come pick it up."

"Alan! Just…chill out, okay? Honestly, I wouldn't have called you if I had realized you were going to totally flip out over some stupid _car._ "

"Sorry, sorry…okay, calming down now. Whew. All right, I'm good. Thanks, Virg…I'll see you in a few hours."

"See you, Al." Virgil turned back to the car, shaking his head. _Someone's just a bit obsessed_ …well, if the car really was that valuable, then it was just as well he already had an armed guard at the hangar keeping an eye on the painting he'd purchased the day before.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Scott! Scott, come in!"

"Any sign of him yet, Al?"

"Nothing yet. The debris is still shifting, so it's really dusty in here."

"Well, be careful."

"Hey, I see him! Hang on, gotta move some stuff…"

"Alan? Al? Is Scott okay? C'mon, don't leave me hanging here…"

"Okay, I'm here. All right, Virg, we're gonna need the hover stretcher. We've got two victims – Scott was shielding a little girl from the debris. He's out cold, but his vitals aren't bad. The kid is upset but she doesn't seem to be really hurt. Hey, hey, calm down, you're okay. Shh – I've got you."

"All right, Alan. You get that girl out. Gordon and I are on our way up, and we'll take care of Scott."

"FAB."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hey, Johnny?"

John hastily turned off the playback of the video of Gordon's expression from a few minutes earlier, carefully schooling his features before he answered his watch. "Yeah, Gords?"

"Either you need to work on your Japanese vocabulary, or you have a really weird sense of humor."

"What do you mean?"

"It really was a dog in the house, not a pig."

"Oops. My bad." Tilting the watch so that Gordon couldn't see his face, John smirked and clicked "send." Scott, Virgil and Alan would enjoy the video, and Gordon would be paid back for all the pranks he'd pulled on John during his last rotation on Tracy Island. Well, maybe not _all_ the pranks, but hey, it was a start.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, John, you awake?"

"Well, I _wasn't_ …but I am now. What's up?"

"Can I come up for my rotation a few days early? Like, as in, right _now_?"

"Alan…have you been trying to prank Gordon again? _When_ will you ever learn?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Thunderbird One to Thunderbird Two…come in, Virgil."

"Thunderbird Two here. What's up, Scott?"

"So…we'll be flying right over Chicago on the way home, and I've got some cash. You thinking what I'm thinking?"

" _Yes_! Pepperoni or sausage?"

"I was thinking pepperoni this time."

"Aw, man, now my stomach's growling. There's nothing better than real, deep-dish Chicago pizza!"

"FAB!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

"John, quick, I need you to look something up for me!"

"What?"

"How do I tell if a cat is done having kittens?"

" _What?_ Gordon, you're in the middle of an earthquake evacuation. This is no time for kittens!"

"Try telling that to the mama kitty! It's not _her_ fault that she went into labor in the middle of an earthquake. Breathe, Fluffy, breathe! You're doing great! Aww, John, you're really missing out – they're kind of ugly, but they're so ugly that they're actually cute. I think I'll name this one Richter."

"Gordon! Stop playing with those kittens and get them out of there somehow!"

" _Fine._ Okay, mama, don't worry, I'm gonna get you and your babies out of here."

ooooooooooooooooooooo

"Scott, come in!"

Scott held his arm up and watched the little blue, holographic John pop up into view in front of him. "I read you, John. What's going on?"

"I'm picking up on a faint distress signal from that small building to your northeast," John told him. A map flickered into existence next to him, and he pointed out a blinking dot near the middle.

Scott frowned. "That's weird. The foreman told me that no one was in there." The man had actually been quite insistent that the building was empty – to the point that Scott had begun to find his attitude rather off-putting. Scott began trotting toward the building.

"Well, he's wrong," John said bluntly. "Watch yourself, Scott. I don't like this."

Scott reached the door of the building. "You're right – I hear people calling. Thanks for the heads-up, John. Virgil and I will get them out."

"And I've got a little investigating to do," John replied. His hologram disappeared.

Twenty minutes later, as Scott and Virgil emerged from the damaged building with the men they'd rescued, they saw the police officers who had been managing the perimeter of the danger zone gathered around the foreman. As they watched, one of the officers snapped handcuffs on the foreman's wrists and began to lead him away.

John's hologram flickered back on, and he looked like the cat that had swallowed the canary. "Got him," he said.

Scott snorted. "Nice detective work."

"Just glad to help out."

ooooooooooooooooooooo

"Thunderbird Five to Thunderbird One; come in, Scott."

"I read you loud and clear, Thunderbird Five. You have a briefing for me, John?"

"Actually, no. Sorry, Scott, but it was a false alarm. You can return to base."

"Aw, man, I hate false alarms! I mean, I'm glad that there wasn't a crisis, and that no one was actually in danger. That's good. Really good. But also really boring."

"Can we say 'adrenaline junkie?'"


End file.
